First of all kids if you’ve shown up here, dodged the adult
warning at the front end, and yet still think this is about a pony with a horn
on its head you need to head on over to Disney or something because this is not
for you… soo shoo.
This is a longish story, it starts long ago, but it only
really become serious in 2010. Cause you see, in 2010 my wife should have died.
The doctors told me I should prepare for it, that even if she did wake up,
she’d have brain damage. A few days later she opened her eyes…and was pretty
much back to normal. Just with some blood sugar issues. Almost dying can do
some wacky things to you. And it makes you realize that you should have been
doing all those things that have been floating around in your mind for all
these years. To that end, she jumped out
of an airplane, she started flying around the country when before her fear of
flying kept her off planes since she was 18. There were a lot of other firsts
too. Its been amazing to watch.
One of the things she finally told me is that she wanted a
girlfriend. Not a “hey lets get mani-pedi”s kind of girlfriend, but a “hey lets
roll around and do interesting things on the bed” kind of girlfriend. This would have been far easier to arrange if
we were back in our 30’s and not hitting 50.
I have to admit that I’d like something a little different
to. Back in our younger years my wife was my occasional submissive as well. I
like things a little intense. A different illness back then did a number on her
and it really changed her pain tolerance. It’s one thing to want to paddle your
wife a little and tie her up for some teasing. But when the gentlest swats
erupt into blood blisters and the softest of ropes leave marks for weeks; it
changes the dynamic. Quite a lot actually. I’ve only really let that thing in
my head out of its cage once since then. The thing about letting those parts of
yourself have free reign is that they don’t want to be silent again.
We’d also both like to be there to watch the other having
their fun. So I took on the task to find us a Unicorn. For those of you
unfamiliar with the jargon, the Unicorn is that woman who’s looking to join a
couple. Actually she’s usually described as the HBB~ Hot Bi Babe. To be clear
here, we’re not just looking for someone to get laid with, we’re looking for
someone to date, to enjoy life with as well. Neither of is particularly hot
either…so we just wanted someone nice.
So, I did what everyone else does. I looked in the online
communities. I even met two lovely women for coffee to meet and discuss things
a bit. The first was a chain smoker with an emphysema sounding cough. The other
was very up front about her recovery and relapses into meth addiction. While
I’m sure they’re nice people, they were not exactly who we were looking for.
So after failing on the internet, where else do you look for
a Unicorn? I’ve teased the idea to female friends. We always joke about the
things we really want right? There was one who had interest. Enough of an
interest that we met after work to discuss it a bit. We set a date to meet up.
And then she got offered a job in another state. That was 2012. We keep in
touch, and she wants to move back to Vegas, but is going to wait till she hits
a few career mileposts where she’s at. I can understand that. And quite frankly
I was biding my time until that happened.
You have to understand something about where I work. It’s
very conservative. There are no secrets. If you don’t have half a dozen bumper
stickers that contain your entire political philosophy you’re probably going to
be a black sheep of the organization. That’s kind of nice in its own way,
because the black sheep all know who each other are. We all get along pretty
well.
One of my black sheep friends got divorced about two years
ago. Her ex-husband was a douche of epic proportions (13 bumper stickers at
last count). She was definitely a wild-child. She toured as a roadie with a
band for a year after high school; where I understand she experienced a number
of alternative styles and pharmaceuticals. Then she did the school thing, and
got a career and a husband and a child (who is just brilliant btw, I help with
math once in a while). Now she’s a single mom, in her young 40’s, not a smoker,
not a meth head either.
We did a project between our two parts of the organization
about 3 months ago. After it was done, one day while she was in the building
she came by to say hello and asked how I was doing.
“Oh just trying to figure out how to catch a Unicorn.”
She takes a beat, smiles and says “Oh really?” She used an
intonation of voice letting me know my clever remark has been completely
understood. We talk a few more minutes
and she goes back to work.
About a week later she swings by again. “How’s the unicorn
hunt?”
“It’s difficult. They’re wild and elusive creatures. You
have to be very careful how you approach them. If it’s overwhelming they get
skittish and just disappear. I think rather than hunting them now, I’ll just
put out Unicorn signs and wait for her to approach me.” I had thought about
what I’d say to her if I had the chance again. Trust me
I’m not bright enough to not get tongue tied if I tried to do it off the cuff.
She laughed, we talked work for a bit and she wandered away
again.
At this point I’m not sure If she’s fucking with me or
interested. It’s frustrating because I can normally read people pretty well.
That was a Tuesday.
On Friday she came back by my cube again. She’s beaming and smiling and bouncy,
jingling her keys and its distracting while we’re talking. Finally I look, and
she has a brand new shiny key fob… a pretty little unicorn; and an old worn
triskellion.
“We should have a drink sometime after work.” I said with
what was probably the first genuine grin I’ve had in years.
“Yes,” she said putting her keys away after watching me see
them. We lock eyes for a moment “We
should.”