Hunting the Elusive Unicorn

First of all kids if you’ve shown up here, dodged the adult warning at the front end, and yet still think this is about a pony with a horn on its head you need to head on over to Disney or something because this is not for you… soo shoo.

This is a longish story, it starts long ago, but it only really become serious in 2010. Cause you see, in 2010 my wife should have died. The doctors told me I should prepare for it, that even if she did wake up, she’d have brain damage. A few days later she opened her eyes…and was pretty much back to normal. Just with some blood sugar issues. Almost dying can do some wacky things to you. And it makes you realize that you should have been doing all those things that have been floating around in your mind for all these years.  To that end, she jumped out of an airplane, she started flying around the country when before her fear of flying kept her off planes since she was 18. There were a lot of other firsts too. Its been amazing to watch.

One of the things she finally told me is that she wanted a girlfriend. Not a “hey lets get mani-pedi”s kind of girlfriend, but a “hey lets roll around and do interesting things on the bed” kind of girlfriend.  This would have been far easier to arrange if we were back in our 30’s and not hitting 50.

I have to admit that I’d like something a little different to. Back in our younger years my wife was my occasional submissive as well. I like things a little intense. A different illness back then did a number on her and it really changed her pain tolerance. It’s one thing to want to paddle your wife a little and tie her up for some teasing. But when the gentlest swats erupt into blood blisters and the softest of ropes leave marks for weeks; it changes the dynamic. Quite a lot actually. I’ve only really let that thing in my head out of its cage once since then. The thing about letting those parts of yourself have free reign is that they don’t want to be silent again.

We’d also both like to be there to watch the other having their fun. So I took on the task to find us a Unicorn. For those of you unfamiliar with the jargon, the Unicorn is that woman who’s looking to join a couple. Actually she’s usually described as the HBB~ Hot Bi Babe. To be clear here, we’re not just looking for someone to get laid with, we’re looking for someone to date, to enjoy life with as well. Neither of is particularly hot either…so we just wanted someone nice.

So, I did what everyone else does. I looked in the online communities. I even met two lovely women for coffee to meet and discuss things a bit. The first was a chain smoker with an emphysema sounding cough. The other was very up front about her recovery and relapses into meth addiction. While I’m sure they’re nice people, they were not exactly who we were looking for.

So after failing on the internet, where else do you look for a Unicorn? I’ve teased the idea to female friends. We always joke about the things we really want right? There was one who had interest. Enough of an interest that we met after work to discuss it a bit. We set a date to meet up. And then she got offered a job in another state. That was 2012. We keep in touch, and she wants to move back to Vegas, but is going to wait till she hits a few career mileposts where she’s at. I can understand that. And quite frankly I was biding my time until that happened.

You have to understand something about where I work. It’s very conservative. There are no secrets. If you don’t have half a dozen bumper stickers that contain your entire political philosophy you’re probably going to be a black sheep of the organization. That’s kind of nice in its own way, because the black sheep all know who each other are. We all get along pretty well.

One of my black sheep friends got divorced about two years ago. Her ex-husband was a douche of epic proportions (13 bumper stickers at last count). She was definitely a wild-child. She toured as a roadie with a band for a year after high school; where I understand she experienced a number of alternative styles and pharmaceuticals. Then she did the school thing, and got a career and a husband and a child (who is just brilliant btw, I help with math once in a while). Now she’s a single mom, in her young 40’s, not a smoker, not a meth head either.

We did a project between our two parts of the organization about 3 months ago. After it was done, one day while she was in the building she came by to say hello and asked how I was doing.

“Oh just trying to figure out how to catch a Unicorn.”

She takes a beat, smiles and says “Oh really?” She used an intonation of voice letting me know my clever remark has been completely understood.  We talk a few more minutes and she goes back to work.

About a week later she swings by again. “How’s the unicorn hunt?”

“It’s difficult. They’re wild and elusive creatures. You have to be very careful how you approach them. If it’s overwhelming they get skittish and just disappear. I think rather than hunting them now, I’ll just put out Unicorn signs and wait for her to approach me.” I had thought about what I’d say to her if I had the chance again. Trust me I’m not bright enough to not get tongue tied if I tried to do it off the cuff.

She laughed, we talked work for a bit and she wandered away again.

At this point I’m not sure If she’s fucking with me or interested. It’s frustrating because I can normally read people pretty well. That was a Tuesday.

On Friday she came back by my cube again.  She’s beaming and smiling and bouncy, jingling her keys and its distracting while we’re talking. Finally I look, and she has a brand new shiny key fob… a pretty little unicorn; and an old worn triskellion.

“We should have a drink sometime after work.” I said with what was probably the first genuine grin I’ve had in years.

“Yes,” she said putting her keys away after watching me see them.  We lock eyes for a moment “We should.”

What's a Hellgramite Good for?

There are certain episodes in my life that I’m not proud of…this is one of them.

In the mid-80’s I was in the military and stationed in Hawaii. Tickets to come home were very expensive, so you made the best out your trips. Often I’d fly home during the summer and spend 3-4 weeks at home. It was a time to reconnect with family and friends. And each time I’d spend several days with Belinda. She was someone I knew from one of my high school jobs, she was a few years older than me. In those days, being 18 could buy you beer, but Bel was 21…which meant Jose and Jack.

I’ll be honest, Bel was the first girl I ever had sex with. It was exactly what people of my generation did; it was hot, sweaty and actually at a drive in theater. By the time this story takes place though, I’d sailed to Africa and back, had had a lot of different experiences and I was well on the way toward becoming who I am today, instead of that very timid person that I grew up as.

On this particular trip, Bel and I spent three days together that she had off. The first was spent at a local lake, while people splashed around us we used the corner buoy and the ropes underwater to support ourselves while we fucked under the waves. The second day we spent the morning catching crawdads and hellgrammites in the riffles, and the afternoon and evening fishing off of a grassy bank. They were good days. They were fun nights in the hotel room I had on the edge of town.

The last day, she took the morning to head home to grab some clean clothes and run a couple of errands. I told her to bring a decent dress back with her because we were going out. I spent my morning preparing too.

I had rope prepared and under the hotel mattress. I found a scrap of cloth to use as a blindfold, and borrowed a few clothespins from my mom’s laundry line. The only new part of the play that would be new for us was going to be the clothespins. I was fond of Bel so I’d picked ones that weren’t too tight, and didn’t plan on using them long, just enough to get a reaction from her.

That evening we went to dinner at what passes for Irish food in a small Midwest town. We saw a movie, I’m reasonably sure it was Conan the Destroyer. We stopped by a drive in to grab a lime-aid on the way back to the hotel.

It was there that she broke the news. “I dated Terry for a while.”

Most people can make it through life without having a genuine enemy. I’m not one of them. He and I grew up the best of friends but that all twisted around later. He hurt a friend of mine, I hurt him back and it was a never ending escalation that did not stop when I left the area for boot camp.

“For how long?” She didn’t answer until after the girl delivered our drinks (actually on skates if you can imagine that)

“I don’t know…two- three weeks.” She stared out the front of the car and wouldn’t look at me.

“Did you…” I didn’t even know how to ask the question at that point. I’d never before felt that level of betrayal.

“A couple of times.”

We sat there a long time. We drove and talked a while about it. I’d been with a lot of girls while I was gone, and I’d never have expected her to remain dedicated to me either. We were friends, we liked to fuck. She could have named my best friend, anyone else in that town, but she used the one name that drove me a little insane.

This was the night I realized that sometimes I’m not a very nice person.

I told her that while it was a shock, it was OK. That I just hoped that she learned that he was an evil bastard and that I was glad that she got away from him without being hurt. We finished our drinks while driving around the small town and wound up back at the hotel. She used the restroom and came back into the room in a white bra and panties.

Fucking with Bel was always a blast. She liked to wrestle between kissing bouts, she liked to bite and be bitten. She was about two steps past the rough that most girls I’d been with before enjoyed. Eventually I had her pinned and stripped. We kissed more until she was breathless.

“What do I win?” I asked

“What do you want?” It was always her answer.

“Don’t move.” I used the scrap of cloth to blindfold her and pulled her arm to the side and the rope from under the bed and began wrapping it around her wrist. She had a huge grin while I did it. After I finished with her arms she moved her own ankles out for the rope. Bel had been in this position before with me, she probably thought I was about to plant my mouth and lips over her pussy for an extended period while she got to orgasm a few times. That was my plan earlier too.

I debated with myself for all of thirty seconds before I did it. We had hellgrammites left over after fishing. They were in a coffee can in a Styrofoam cooler in the closet. I got two of them and dropped them on her belly.

“Ohh that’s cold” she squealed.

They were cold, and as they warmed up on her skin they started moving. They’re easy to guide with your fingers, a nudge here, a nudge there. I had them walking up her body towards her breasts. If you’ve never seen one before they have pinchers up front. They’re pretty wicked. When something live gets between them they pinch down, then release, then pinch down, over and over.

She started thrashing around so I picked one up, I had to pull her nipple taut a bit to get the thing to latch on. The second one was easier because the fear had the second one tighter than I’d ever seen on her, or maybe that one was just more eager. As they worked away their tails began thrashing around.

Then I slid down her body, and then I put my tongue and lips on her. I added teeth into her lips too, always just long enough to hear her groan from it. When you have your tongue in a woman you can tell when she cums. Bel came three times before I peeled the bugs off of her.

When I loosed her from the ropes she was crying. I got her under the blankets and I held her. I got a cool rag to clean away the mascara that had ran. Bel was on my chest for over an hour before she said anything to me. She told me she was sorry about Terry.

I told her I shouldn’t have done what I did, but that hearing about him kind of put me off in that zone where I’m not very rational. The rest of the night was actually kind of nice, we talked till the sun came up and she had to leave for work. She married a year later, and I didn’t see her for seven years.

This is what a hellgramite looks like in case you're curious.

Wicked Wednesday